Mary Mary? Quite Contrary!
by CelticKawaii
Summary: The Teen Alchemist. The Eighth Homunculus. We've seen it all before. But does it automatically make your OC a Mary Sue? Here's my advice when it comes to making a still-believable character.
1. State Alchemist for Hire

**Hello everyone! Do you have an OC in your Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction? Is she a State Alchemist at 13? Or is she the newest addition to the Homunculi? Don't tell me...you've been told that (s)he is a Mary Sue because of it, right? Hey, don't cry! You can still pull it off; with a bit of tweaking, that is. Or better yet, you don't even need it! (But 99.3% of the time, you need some work). **

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**FMA Trope #1: State Alchemist for Hire  
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Okay guys, how many of us have seen this one before: "My OC is the Tidal Alchemist. She became a State Alchemist at teh age of 13, and she's almost as good as Edward (maybe better)! Oh! Oh! And she's teh 2nd-youngest State Alchemist..." oh God help me! Not another one! These Kiddie Alchemists are almost _guarenteed _to come from Edward Elric's or Alphonse Elric's fanbase (and if not theirs, then probably Roy Mustang's). But is an OC with Certification _always_ a bad thing? Not nessacerily (ugh! I know I spelled that wrong!). Here are some things to keep in mind when dealing with this type of character:

**1. The Military Isn't Fun, Kids! **Edward didn't just say "Gee, I think it would be cool to become the youngest State Alchemist in all of history!" And sure, while it does have it's perks (the shiny pocket-watch, the uber-cool alias, that awesome uniform), keep in mind what you have to do to get it; join the military! Think about it; imagine joining the armed forces at the tender age of twelve (12/douze!). It's not some cool club. This means war, blood, guts, the thought that you might die on the battlefield...not so fun now, is it? That is exactly what Edward Elric did. Why did he do it? To aid in his search for the Philosopher's Stone. So my advice?  
*Don't do it for fun. (S)he may have had some tragic event that triggered them having to join. Not 'lost mommy and tried to bring her back,' kind of thing, but more like 'an Ishbalan refugee who needed the extra money (it pays you know) to support his/her family.' That's just my example. Try to keep your motive and backstory different from Ed's, or else you've got a Clone Sue on your hands.

**2. Why the Teeny-Boppers?** I know this may be hard for you, but consider making your OC a twenty-something rather than a little teenager. Why? Well, two reasons; First off, it's true, we're kind of sick of all the teenage alchemist characters in FMA fanfiction. And secondly, for all you Roy fangirls, she'd have better luck with him if she were closer to his age. Besides, I don't know if you noticed, but out of all the State Alchemists in that show, not a single one of them is female! Lyra wanted to be one, but, well, that ended crappy for her (SPOILER?). Just the mere fact that you've got the '1st Lady Alchemist' would be enough, don't you agree?

**3. Enough With the Pwnage-Powers! **Please people, stop making your OC so damn uber-powerful that they're able to kick the ass of _anyone else in the cast!_ '(S)he can transmute without a circle...' Whoa! Back the truck up! What? No hun, that's Ed's territory. Unless, like I said, you have a good reason for it (your OC would've had to see the Gate of Truth, and consequently lose a body part). I'd say being _almost as good as _(not _just as good _or _even better than_) Edward Elric is perfectly fine, but when you're stealing spotlight, expect a little retaliation.

**4. Ed & Al's Sista! **Yup, the famous 'Long Lost Sister' line. Hm...well, I guess it's okay, so long as you make her considerably _distinct_ from her brothers (Edward and Alphonse are polar opposites for Pete's sakes!). Being the 'Other Elric Girl' doesn't mean going crazy when someone calls you short, nor does it mean going gaga for a wittle kitty. Besides, Ed and Al already have a long-lost sister...er, I mean, brother.

**5. In the Eye of the Beholder. **Oh, we've _all _heard this one before: she's soooooo beautiful! She's so hot that Ed and Roy are fighting over her, and _all _the guys think she's HAWT! Stop! Please just stop. I'm not saying she has to be ugly, but don't make the readers hear over and over and over and over and over how sexy she is! Keep in mind, beauty is a matter of opinion. Let the reader get some mental image of how attractive she is (since it's an anime setting, she's bound to be cute), and don't torture them with the emphasis. And even if she is really good-looking, don't have the guys gushing. People have different tastes. Some like a certain build; some prefer blondes, or brunettes, or redheads (or the adorable blue-haired girl, apparently). There are Jean Havocs (read: buxom is better), and those that like some junk in the trunk. And even if she appeals to at least _one _type of guy, he's not going to obsess over her! It's not like his mind is a Justin Bieber album, where every track is about his girl. He has other interests.

*Well folks, I hope this helped. Sorry if I slipped out any spoilers, and my apologies for the dig about Justin Bieber.*

**Coming up: the Eighth Homunculus Trope!**


	2. Holy ! An Eighth Homunculus!

**Phew! I'm on a roll today. I had an epiphany last night, that's why. I hope this helped you with your OC. Now, on with the next segment!**

**FMA Trope #2: Holy $#%! Teh Eighth Homunculus!**

Now I _know_ you've seen this one before: OMG! It's Teh 8th Homunculus!1!1!1!one!11!une! Remember how I said the "State Alchemist for Hire" is almost _always_ written by an Ed-fangirl, Al-fangirl, or a Roy-fangirl? Well, you guessed it! These types of OC's are 99.999% of the time created by Envy fangirls. Why? Because, he'd never hit it off with a human! And chances are, if you're one of those people who can't get enough of that crazy psycho-bastard palm tree, you've probably wondered how cool it would be to be a homunculus. And who could blame you? They're practically immortal, badass, and have frickin' amazing superpowers! But there's just one problem: there are only _Seven Deadly Sins, _and since the whole name-game is kind of a theme, you're forced to come up with a not-deadly sin for your OC's monicker. Hey, I'm right there with you; I have an "8th Homunculus" OC myself, but that doesn't automatically constitute as Mary Sue. Since I'm more familiar with this type of OC, I'll probably give a longer list of tips for improvement.

**1. That's not A Sin! **I kid you not, there are writers out there who name their OC homunculi something along the lines of these: _Pain, Sorrow, Angst, Pity, Sin (that's just pure laziness!), Allure (I thought that was a magazine), etc. _Know what all these have in common? That's right, THEY'RE NOT EVEN SINS! If the OC has the name of a _virtue,_ you ought to be ashamed! If your character is one of the homunculi, they must, as a rule, take the name of a sin. Just because it gives a negative connotation doesn't mean it's a sin. And naming your character Sin is bad too. Why? Because it's like naming a human "Name." Try things like _Deciet, Lie, Bestiality (that's a popular one), Malice, Violence, Spite, Vanity, Defiance (works if OC is a teenager!), Hypocricy, Scandal, etc. _See the difference?

**2. You are NOT the 8th Deadly Sin! **Just because your OC is the 8th Homunculus, doesn't instantly qualify them as the long-lost '8th deadly sin.' Maybe it would help if you knew more about just what the 7 sins _are. _Contrary to popular belief, the Cardinal Vices actually aren't sins _in themselves,_ but rather the 7 main reasons why we fall into sin. If you look it up in the Catechism, all evil acts can be traced back in one way or another to one or more of these seven. So think of what your OC's name/sin is, and think of what this sin is an offshoot of. For instance, my OC is Vengeance, which is a desire to 'get even with' or harm someone who has wronged you. Most people would instantly identify vengeance as an offshoot of anger/wrath, but look closely; it certainly involves anger, but it also adds in a desire to see other people suffer; and conversely, to be _unhappy _when they aren't suffering. Thus, the concept of revenge/vengeance is somewhat connected to envy. There's also a level of _pride _(How dare you cross me!), and perhaps a hint of _lust _(the all-consuming passion of getting revenge, letting nothing stand in your way).

**3. Know Your Place, N00B! **For some odd reason, too many people think their OC being the _8th homunculus _automatically means they're 'special.' No, actually, it makes them a loser. Here's why: we've already got the 7 sins, and this new guy (or gal) shows up. So now we have Pride, Envy, Lust, Gluttony, Wrath, Sloth, Greed, and...Vanity? Is it just me, or does the new guy stick out like a sore thumb? Sorry, but if you want to be as cool as the rest of the gang, you'll have to earn your keep. That means Envy will kick your ass, you'll end up doing all the dirty jobs (or at least get stuck babysitting little Wrathy), getting pwned by an alchemist (certified or not), and _not _getting all that friendly attention from the other homunculi (I can just see Lust saying "Oh, hey new guy! Wanna sit next to me at the lunch table?"). Which brings us to our next tip...

**4. Envy Pwns Your A$$! **Kind of ties in with the whole "Enough With the Pwnage Powers!" thing I mentioned in the first chapter. As far as powers go, you should give your OC enough to hold their own, but not to the point where they manage to one-up everybody! When in doubt, refer to the OVA! Yes, I mean the one where Envy totally pwns Greed without even blinking. Likewise, if he got into a fight with your OC, he'd do about the same thing. If ten seconds pass and the OC's keester hasn't been thoroughly kicked, it's because he's holding back...or Mary's on the loose!

**5. The Only Deadly Sin Is 'Twu Wuv.'** Ladies, I know you utterly adore that deplorable bastard (who killed Hughes and then Ed ***spoiler*** but hell we love him anyway), but please, KEEP YOUR DAMN FANTASIES TO YOURSELF! If you want to write a good fiction, you have to keep everyone in character! And that means keeping the heartless, psychopathic a-hole a heartless, psychopathic a-hole! Do not make him fall in wuv with your OC...especially 'love at first sight/first few chapters!' You can have a friendly sibling-type relationship (as long as there's [almost] no fluff), but no romantic crap, okay? Besides, Envy doesn't need your OC when he has Lust. Try to avoid fluff when it directly concerns Envy, but Wrath-centered fluff is okay (because who doesn't wanna hug Wrathy?)

*Whoa! I didn't even get to finish this, and already I got 3 reviews! That's amazing!*


	3. Don't Push It!

Woo-hoo! Chapter 3! Sorry, I can't think of another FMA cliché, but I can think of a really pesky trait that that Mary Sues somehow get away with.

**FMA Trope #3: Don't Push the Red Button!**

What button, you might ask? I'm talking about the berserk button. Basically, it's a no-no subject that makes the otherwise sane character go nuts. And we all know this one…four words: DON'T CALL ME SMALL! It's true, some Sues have actually said the "S-word" or the "P-word" to Ed, and he…didn't do anything! This is simple: don't make a stupid mistake like this! He will _never_ take the word "Chibi-san" as a compliment. Enough said.

Oh, but I'm not done:

**1. Hater No Hating! **I don't care if you hate Winry Rockbell, that's no excuse [for your OC] to call her a bitch/slut/any other derogatory term! And if your character _does_ call her a name, there should at least be consequences! Ed might have a problem with that…Al might have a problem with that…_Winry _might have a problem with that! And don't forget about how the _readers_ feel! Solution:

**2. Cause and Effect.** Okay, so your character doesn't know when to shut up. Fine. Don't make the rest of the canon cast treat it like this is a _good _thing! If you tell off one of the canon characters, there's a good chance it was the alchemist/homunculus/wrench-wielding maiden you don't want to mess with! Unless said character is Shou Tucker, they are going to have a really defensive fanbase. That means people who _won't _like your character for calling their fave-bishie a bitch/fag/loser/ugly/midget/creep/whore/slut/gay/perv/etc. So, yes, name-calling is one thing, but expecting a positive reaction out of it is a little unrealistic.

**3. Drop the 'Tude! **There's nothing wrong with your character being outspoken (as I said above). And while it's a common misconception that the spitfire attitude and temper are instant Sue traits, the key is to make your character feel repercussions; you wouldn't walk up to someone and deliberately say something to piss them off (without expecting punishment), would you? Well, I hope not! So it's no different when it comes to your OC. If your OC is a homunculus, this gets back to the whole "Know Your Place, N00B!" and additionally the concept of "Envy Pwns You're A$$!" Once again, when in doubt, refer to the OVA.

*So, there it is. I just wanted to cover that. Too many people use their OC's to bully characters they hate. It's wrong!*


	4. Story Sample Teh Teen Alchemist!

**I was recently warned about this being pulled from the site (thx, The Pandemonium-Chaos Disorder!), so today, I give you: a Sample Chappy! I guess you could say I had an epiphany-gasm after reading the first 1½ chapters of _My Immortal_ (which apparently was so bad they pulled it from this site!). So without further ado, I give you…_Teh Teen Alchemist Story!_**

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Hello evryone! My name ish Chantal del'Aritollio Elric, and I'm the Starry Violet Alchemist!1!1!11!1!1!11!1!1! I became a State Alchemist at the age of 13 [1], and I ish the 2nd youngest State Alchemist evah! And I'm Edward's long-lost sister (and Alphonse's too, but noone ever mentions taht!)[2], but he doesn't know it yet coz uh...well I don't knowz, he just don't (but Hoho sure gets around, are you surprised?). I have Smoky Topaz eyes with a hint of red coz I might be Ishbalan (but somehow I'm still white), Burnished Gold hair tied in a long braid that goez douwn 2 mah but and Flawless Skin dat's wite and sparkly (coz I mite be a Meyerpire too! I can do alchemy witout a circle and I HATEZ IT WEN PEOPLE CALL ME SMALL![2] I wuv kitties SSOOOOOOOOO much![2] Oh, and because I'm a State Alchemist I get a Shiny Silver Pocketwatch, An Epikly Awesome Uniform, and of course Dah Awesome Nickname![3] Edo haz a crush on me, but how do I tellz him we're related? Oh well.I think Roy Mustamg is SOOOOOO HAWT![1] I can transmute sparkly violet blasts of energy from nowhere, and make wepons out of thinair![4] Cuz I'm special[5], dat's why! I pwn teh homoculus[6], and I pwn all teh other Stat Alchemists out there![5] I'm awesome![5] And Winry iz a B*TCH![7]

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**Well guys, what do you think? I found a 'Mary Sue Generator' (they exist), and copied and pasted stuff into this. My heartfelt apologies for those of you who had to witness the sad and utter raping of the English language. Sure, this isn't what all of them look like...I hope. I couldn't stop laughing at the part where I said "Hoho sure gets around, are you surprised?" **

by the way, here are the areas where she (you _know_ it's a she) violated fanfiction code:

(1)refer to 'Why The Teeny Boppers?'  
(2)refer to 'Ed & Al's Sista!'  
(3)refer to 'The Military Isn't Fun, Kids!'  
(4)refer to 'Enough With The Pwnage Powers!'  
(5)refer to 'Know Your Place, N00B!'  
(6)refer to 'Envy Pwns Your A$$!'  
(7)refer to 'Hater No Hating!'


	5. FMA FG from AU? OMG!

Oh Yeah! That was so much fun! Well, I want to do another one of those in the near future. But I have to get into the next FMA fanfiction cliche!

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**FMA Trope #4: FG or FB from AU in FMA OMG!**

Well, this might just be the oldest one in the book: fangirl (or fanboy, or just a person from good old planet Earth) is transported to the FMA universe (usually through the Gate) and somehow manages to live out their wildest fantasies with Edward and Alphonse (or th Homunculi, depending on whose side you're on). Unlike the previous tropes, you can't always tell what sort of fangirl [and yes, it's a girl...mostly] writes this **stuff**. At least, not until you read it. And it usually sucks when you read it. But is it always bad to do an AU story? Will Gate-crossers _always_ wind up as Sues? Not always.

**1. What the Hell is Going On? **The convenience of having an actual _fan_ of the show who already knows all the surprises [homunculi, equivalent exchange, etc.] is...well, just that. This instantly gives them an unfair advantage over _everyone else _in the story. In addition, said OC probably knows alchemy, and knows it well. They sometimes do it even better than Edward. NO! NO! NO! Here's my idea:  
*They came from Earth, but not Ours. Why not have them come into the FMA world from another 'alternate earth' where no one has made a 2003 anime series on the adventures of Edward and Alphonse Elric and their quest to find the Philosopher's Stone [and later a 2009 remake of the manga]. That way they don't know what's going on and it's okay if they know [or eventually learn] alchemy. It's actually much more entertaining this way! Or...  
*They still suck! As in, no alchemy, no alkahestry, no kick-ass fight skills...nothing you don't already have. Granted, this may prove to significantly lessen your chances of survival (especially if you ran into, say, Kimbee), but it makes your character a thousand times more believable. And it would _definitely_ prove a fun read!

**2. Dismemberment! **That's right guys. Coming through the Gate comes with a price. Do you even listen to Alphonse when he says "In order to gain something, something of equal value must be given. That is alchemy's first Law of Equivalent Exchange." at the begining of every episode? Basically, in order to gain access to the other side, you must give something...like a couple of your limbs. Or your sight. Or your hearing. Or if you want to be funny, the female otaku character can come to the other side...completely flat-chested! This makes for an exciting 'get this guy to the hospital' opening scene, and also offers an opportunity to let Winry come into play (if she ends up being your OC's mechanic.)

**3. What Are the Odds? **"Wow! I just ran into Edward Elric! Yay me!" Dream on! What are the odds you'll hit it off instantly with Edo? It's not like he's the easiest person to get along with, and you're just some complete stranger out of nowhere! Maybe you can be a sort of aquaintence, but you better have a damn good reason to be his friend! And by the way...

**4. Don't Call him Litte...Or Do? **Your OC shouldn't automatically know better than to call Ed small. It's what made the whole 'short rant' funny in the first place. This would add a crapload of comic relief to your story, as well as show the readers what kind of person your character is. While Alphonse tries to hold back the angry Fullmetal Pipsqueak, your OC can either blush and say "Sorry, I didn't think you'd be so sensitive about it," or be mean and taunt him further. Okay, there are other options besides that.

**5. No Bishie-Bashing!** Kinda goes without saying, but really...don't hate on a canon character just to be mean. Please refer back to "Hater No Hating!"

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**Well, that's all I have for now.**


	6. Romance and Crackdom

**This is actually becoming more popular than the fanfic I'm writing. Well, I got a review from someone that really made me think...anyway, I wrote this because I don't want people giving up on OC stories! Good ones exist! And so, I've decided in this chapter to focus on romantic stories:**

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**On the Subject of Romance**

There's a popular genre in fanfiction: romance! The reason is obvious. Because fangirls _love _their bishies! But it's not all bad...it usually is though. I'm not really a fan of romance, but I do like well-done love stories. I repeat, **_well done! _**But here are a few tips to spice up your romance novel:

**1. Keep Everyone in Character. **Like I said before, KEEP YOUR DAMN FANTASIES TO YOURSELF!And if the character wouldn't normally **gush** over a girl, pretty or otherwise, then **your OC is no different!** Real-life love takes time, like all good things. So should your story's love. They [OC and paired canon] should fight regularly; because that's what couples do! They shouldn't be like Bella and Edward in _Twilight, _where he's totally obsessed with the girl. And while I'm bashing Twilight, lets get to our next segment;

**2. Love Geometry! **There's the usual...boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl falls in love with boy. They get married, shove cake in eachother's face, and then it's babies ever after! And then there's boyXgirlXboy, also known as the 'Love Triangle.' You can also have it as girlXboyXgirl, but it tends to be rarer. Then there's the lovely play by William Shakespeare, _A MidSummer Night's Dream. _In this case, you basically have Boy "A" in love with Girl "B" who loves Boy "C" who wants Girl "D" , except she loves Boy "A". Personally though, I like to use love-pentagons, love-hexagons, love-octagons, and romantic formations that defy the laws of physics! Keep readers guessing; it always makes things fun!

**3. Love's not Everything! **Bear in mind, however, that it doesn't have to be all about romantic relationships. FMA isn't a romance series, and yet we have more pairings than you can possibly count! Same goes with your story. Yet another reason why _Twilight_ fails; it's all about "Twu Wuv." Refer back to chapter 2, and then apply it to everybody in the cast. In fact, go back to chapter 1, and _apply directly to the canon!_

**4. Crack Some Goodness! **I know I said you should keep everyone in character, but I recently learned something:  
***FACT*: If 2 characters share a panel/screenshot, it's canon!**  
So...crack couples are a great way to make your romance pairings even more fun! Just don't take the crack-pair seriously. The last thing we need is for people to act like Winry and Kimblee [yeah, it exists] were "meant to be," or Selim and May Chang [scary, isn't it?] to be "soulmates." But these sorts of couples make for great crack!  
But, this is supposed to be about OC's, so I'll add this; take an OC, preferably one who's more softspoken, shy, and introverted, and (crack)-pair her [or him...but mostly 'her'] up with someone who's a wild sillyhead. Example: Raven [my OC, don't steal! Grrrrrr!] is one who fits the above description. She's emotional too, and loving, caring...and the Devil's Advocate to the extreme. Who would she make a good crack pair with? Just use your imagination...

**5. I'm Not an Expert! **Please don't hate me for being insane! I'm not big on romance, so don't hate me for being a little 'off' with some of the stuff.

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**So...what do you think? I tried to come up with an idea for the next chapter, and I just noticed there was so much romance on this site! That and the fact that I started finding all sorts of potential crack-pairings in my fanfic. Sorry I use my OC's all the time...it's just easier that way. **


	7. The Story of a Suethor

**Hey everyone! I'm posting my official ****1****st**** UPDATE OF THE YEAR!**** Since I've been working on an 'advice fic' on how not to make a Sue, I just thought I'd point out some things about Mary Sue tests…they're kind of unfair! Now I'm going to prove just how mean they can be (hopefully without going off the deep end) and then go bonkers with the emo-icons! :)**

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Once, there was a young writer. Her name was Anna and she absolutely _loved _Fullmetal Alchemist. She frequently fantasized about being an alchemist, hitting it off with Ed and Al, and hey, maybe even Roy. One day, she discovered *this site*. She immediately signed up so she could post an awesome fanfic for the whole world (that includes Singapore, folks!) to see. When she wrote her story, she based the main original character, named 'Annie,' off of herself. No, Annie wasn't _more beautiful_ [well, maybe just a little] or _more talented _than Anna, [well, except for alchemy], and she wasn't any more or less 'gifted' in any way that Anna already was. Problem was, Anna didn't know about "Mary Sues" in fan works, so when she started getting mean and nasty flames from people, she was confused...and not to mention, pretty pissed! [those flames sure can be harsh!] Finally, one of the 'nicer' reviewers suggested she take a Mary Sue Litmus Test. Taking the advice, Anna was none too happy with some of the results...like this one:  
Annie isn't a character: she's you, or you as you'd like to be. She isn't really very cool: she blends into crowds, she hangs out on the fringes at parties, and wearing shades after dark makes her run into things. She may have sometimes thought that she was special, or destined for greater things, but probably dismissed the idea as a fantasy. She's got no emotional scars to speak of. And you've been pretty kind to her, always ready to intercede on her behalf and give her a nice easy victory.

You may have let yourself get a little too close to Annie. Maybe she's you as you wish you were, or maybe you're just afraid no one will like her and are trying to give her a free ride. Have some confidence in your writing! Annie is a good character. Give her room to be herself before you stifle her.

Wait! What? "you as you'd _like to be?_" And what do you mean "no emotional scars to speak of?" Sure, I've never been abandoned, or raped, or anything like that, but...**none? **What the hell kind of test is this anyway?

Now, admittedly, Annie did have some Sueness to her; most of the male cast, including some of the _bad guys, _thought Annie was kind of hot. She had skill enough to pwn almost anyone...whoa, what was that? _Anyone? _Uh-oh. Well, you see what I mean.

Of course, it was purelly understandable that Anna accidentally wrote up a Mary Sue...because she was a n00b! Nearly every newcomer to *this site* makes this mistake. Now granted, making her _just like herself _isn't really where she went wrong; it was making all the other characters _wuv her _and giving her OC pwnage enough to...break 2 rules in this fic (Oh Lord help us! Watch the OVA Anna!), not to mention she completely bipassed "Know Your Place, N00B!" on so many levels.

But was Annie an epic failure? Should our poor n00b just 'kill it dead' and start another character from scratch? NO!  
Her OC just needed a little work. So one day, someone who actually had a _heart _came along and offered some advice. An angel among *this site*-ers, (s)he told Anna that if she tweaked her OC a bit, let other characters pwn _her _for a change, and equipped her with a set of _flaws _[like confusing Japanese honorifics (Edo-chan=yikes!), being the token pettanko, and having a crazy-painful weakness]. She also toned down Annie's alchemic powers; she used to be **better than Edward.** She used to be powerful enough to **pwn just about everyone!** [see "Enough With the Pwnage Powers!" and "Envy Pwns Your a$$!" for more details]. Now, she's reasonably skilled, but not _too_ skilled, in alchemy; she's gotten her butt kicked a few times by a certain palm tree; and...Ed doesn't always get along with her. There's other stuff too, and it all helped make Annie a better character [her new name is Clair, by the way], and Anna a better writer.

The moral of the story? We all started out like Anna. We were all n00bs, but that doesn't mean we don't deserve a chance. And so do OC's. Happy New Year everybody!

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**So...what do you think? You weren't expecting that, were you? XD **


	8. Ways for Avoiding a Mary Sue

**NOOOOOOOO! It's been forever since my last update! I'm sorry everyone. I've been playing catch-up for the past month, so I haven't had time to do anything. :( Anyway, I decided to go over some ways to avoid making your character a Mary Sue in general. **

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**Ways To Avoid making a Mary Sue**

It's sad, but a lot of fanfic writers get accused of writing Mary Sues because they have a character who fits a sort of 'cliche' of FMA fanfiction. Eighth homunculus? Mary Sue! Knows alchemy? Mary Sue. State Certified? Big time Sue. Based on you? Troubled past? Hangs with Ed and Al? Sue-zilla! **Female?** Mary frickin' Sue! Is there any way around it? I think so...and that's where the tips come in.

**1. Lampshade Hanging.** Whenever a plot has some element about it that doesn't make any sense, feels out of place, or starts breaking the willing suspension of disbelief, someone in the story will point it out, and then move on. That's called lampshade hanging, or just lampshading. It happens in fiction a lot, and it's a nice way of letting the readers know you don't think they're idiots. For example: If you have an eighth homunculus, one of the other homunculi would say something like _"...you'd think...[Dante] would be satisfied with _seven_ sins..." _or something like that. Or, if your character is an alchemist...well, that one's a little more normal for FMA, but if they're becoming certified, you could have someone remark whatever's unusual about it (like if your OC's a girl, one guy could point out how she'd be the first female state alchemist).  
This isn't just for characters, though. You could do it for the plot too. If something in the plot doesn't add up, or makes no sense at all, someone can say "Wait...how does that happen?" There's no guarentee, though.

**2. Your OC is a Weirdo. **Flaws make a character interesting, which is why people hate Mary Sues (who don't have any "real" flaws). Another thing that makes your character interesting; weird or unusual habits. Maybe your character has a really bizzare taste in food. Or they collect weird things (stamps are not weird, by the way). Maybe they're OCD-ish neat freaks. Whatever it is, it makes everyone around them think "What the hell is with this guy?" Mary Sue isn't weird, she's only 'special. No not like that (the author is, but not the Sue). If Mary Sue does have a weird quirk to her, anyone who thinks it's weird doesn't understand her, or they're idiots, or both. But if your character is considered strange by the other characters, and it's justified [since you think it's strange too], or supposed to be funny, or whatever else, it's not a Sue.

**3. Clumsiness is a Flaw. **Many Suethors argue that they have a Sue character who's "clumsy," and therefore not perfect. Supposedly, being clumsy isn't really a flaw, because Mary Sue is only clumsy when there's a hot guy ready to catch her whenever she falls. This. Is. Not. CLUMSY! In the real world, occasionally tripping on your own two feet doesn't make you a klutz. If you have ever walked into a glass door, walked into a wall, tripped over air, tripped up the stairs, kicked yourself in the back with your own ski (true story), tipped your chair over and fell down with it, spilled hot liquids on yourself or someone else, or lost track of how many times you've injured yourself in the past week...yeah, there you go. Ever see a Mary Sue who does _that? _They're "clumsy" when it's convenient to be. If your OC is supposed to be a klutz, you don't have to overdo it, but they should make some kind of stupid blunder at least once per chapter, at times when it's not convenient to screw up. Like say, in the middle of a fight, that might be a bad time to fall over. Or when they're trying to impress somebody.

**4. Readers Are Allowed To Hate Your Character. **Not everyone is going to automatically fall in love with your OC, so when somebody tells you they hate your character, it's no big deal. Granted, some of the "haters" are really just trolls who want to start crap on the internet, but other people out there can have legit reasons for not liking your character. Maybe they use way too much Japanese, or they're simpy full of themselves, or they're a whiney baby. Whatever. Just don't get butthurt because someone has a different opinion. Not everyone in FMA has the same feelings about the characters. And yes, not everyone likes Ed (did I already say that?). So, you can have your character do things that are _clearly bad, _that isn't supposed to make the readers feel sorry for them, and puts your character in a bad light (I swear, I think I've said this already). It actually makes your character seem more human.

**5. What Does That Have To Do With the Plot? **If the readers (or you) are asking this question, you shouldn't mention it about your character. Your character can have an amazing singing voice, incredible art skills, or be able to cook like a pro, if it has nothing to do with the plot, don't bring it up! Also, if there happens to be some odd or tragic part of their past (her father left her, he lost his little sister, they had to live in a box) that really doesn't relate to the story, don't mention it. Ever. The reason is because...well, Mary Sue does this all the time. Granted, just because your character happens to be good at something doesn't make them a Sue. It's when the story wouldn't be any different if they didn't have it that Mary comes in. Or, if your character had abusive parents, they shouldn't be so quick to bring it up in conversation. "Oh, my mommy hit me when I was little," would be an example. However, you can hint at your character having a troubled past through parts of the story. If they hate being touched, have a hard time trusting people, and get really tight-lipped when asked about their past, that might be an indicator that...something happened to them. Mary Sue, on the other hand, is bubbly, friendly, and somewhere in the conversation says she was raped. Let me make it clear: NO REAL VICTIM ACTS LIKE THAT! Maybe I'll get more into this later.

**6. So Beautiful It's A Curse! **There's nothing wrong with your character being attractive (and since this is an anime, your character wouldn have to be ugly on purpose otherwise), it's kind of ridiculous to act like being gorgeous is a flaw. Granted, I can see someone not liking the idea of being so pretty that they stand out, when all they want is to be left alone, or not wanting to incite jealousy in others, but even then, they still _like _being attractive. Maybe someone would feel this way if everyone [usually guys] assume that since she's beautiful, she's also an idiot [because pretty girls can't have **brains** too! Dur-hur.]. Either way, your OC shouldn't be whining that it's so hard being beautiful! "Ugh! Why can't I be ugly! Perfect skin, hourglass body, curves in all the right places...it sucks to be me!" Yeah, we can all relate to that. But really, it's totally unrealistic for your character to hate being pretty. She can have moments where she thinks "I can't stand how people take me for an idiot all the time!" or "I wish I didn't stick out like a sore thumb," but it shouldn't be a constant thing.

**7. Hi, I'm Mari Suki! **This is a western-themed anime! Edward, Alphonse, Roy, Hoenheim (German?), Jean...all European names! Occasionally you bump into names like Izumi, but for the most part, you don't see Japanese names. Unless your OC is Japanese, (s)he shouldn't have a Japanese name. Then again, I guess if her parents were otaku from Our World (or from Xing), the name Aki's gotta go. Enough said.

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**Well, that's it for this chapter. If there's anything I missed, feel free to let me know. Next, I'll do a chapter on ideas for different kinds of alchemy. **


	9. Some Ideas for Powers

**Now, for my next update. I'll list some different forms of alchemy, just to give a few suggestions for your OC. I'm not an expert, just a slacking fan with ideas. Enjoy!**

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Alchemy can come in all shapes and sizes. There are all sorts of alchemists in the FMA world; Ed and Al use metal alchemy, Roy Mustang uses Flame Alchemy, and Kimblee makes people go boom. There are all sorts of ways you can use alchemy. The idea is to think of something that's readily available, easy to use, and makes a great weapon…or just anything useful for battle. Here are some examples;

Earth Alchemy: Basically, using rocks and stone as a weapon. The best example of this HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN IN THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS! Stone can make a great barrier, as well as a convenient attack method too. The downside: shooting things out of the pavement (if it's pavement) and flinging large hunks of rock everywhere leave the surrounding area a wreck, so expect a little retaliation.

Fire/Flame Alchemy: Roy Mustang's specialty. If your character's alchemy is based on heat/fire/burning/explosions, make sure it's different from his. Fire attacks are great offensively, but not so good with defense. Oh, and then there's the obvious…useless in the rain thing. Remember; flame alchemy needs the ignition cloth gloves, so be sure to give your OC a pair. If it's heat instead of fire (there's a difference), then rain is a little bit less of an issue. Snow on the other hand…yeah.

Metal Alchemy: This alchemy lets you turn scrap metal into weapons (if you have any brains at all, you'll make something better than a piddly spear!), and even use your automail as a weapon. Try not to make it look too much like Ed, or you're headed for Mary Sue territory. The characters who'd probably use metal in their alchemy usually have a thing for knives, and attack offensively. Or, if they use it to fix automail (or other stuff made of metal), they might make great sidekicks.

Paper Alchemy: Yes, you read that right. Sure, it doesn't seem like it can do a lot of damage, and paper alchemists would likely be the "Box Ghosts" of FMA, but technically, paper is essentially wood. It's versatile, cheap, pretty much everywhere, and convenient. Most people wouldn't expect this guy to be very powerful, so sleepers would definitely have this kind of alchemy.

Bomb Alchemy/Explosion Alchemy: Kimblee loves this one. Making people go boom is in here. Really, you can make anything into a bomb (through spontaneous combustion), but this alchemy is clearly dangerous [duh]. If your OC knows alkahestry [what they do in Xing], this is probably one of their skills.

Bio Alchemy/Medic Alchemy: As in, the kind used to heal people. Once again, this is another thing common with alkahestry. It also covers anything involving human transmutation (the taboo). If it's the second kind, your OC probably has a missing body part.

Other: there's probably a million different types of alchemy out there, but I just listed off some ideas. You don't have to follow them exactly, but you have to remember that whole equivalent exchange thing. You can't just shoot things out of thin air, because alchemy doesn't work that way! Unless your character has the Philosopher's Stone, but then you better have a good explanation for it.

Technically, homunculi have a sort of alchemy...they can only transmute themselves and in one way. Normally, you want to give your homunculus a power that relates to their personality. Like Greed being able to form a sheild of black diamond over his body, Envy being able to emulate (look like), but never actually _be _anyone he wants, Lust...yeah, I'd rather not go there. Maybe if your character's name is Deciet, (s)he can cause illusions. Or, if your character is something like Scandal, maybe their power involves mind conrol (as in, manipulating people to do things). You could give them a power that slowly uses up their Stone every time they use it, to symbolize how their sin is slowly killing them. Bonus points if their powers make them look really creepy!

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**Well, hope it helped. Sorry for not getting back for so long. I'll try to update sooner next time. **


	10. Fixing up some Sues

**Yes, my last update was awesome! Thanks for all the reviews, and I'm hoping to get the next chapter in Trespasses done (it's almost finished, but I'm still fighting off writer's block). Anyway, so far I've done chapters on how not to make a Mary Sue, but maybe I'll do a chapter on fixing characters who are already Mary Sues.**

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Fixing a Mary Sue: FMA Style.  
There are a lot of fanfic writers out there, and many of them took a Mary Sue Test for their original character. The worst part of these tests is that they assume that you already have the ending written out, and have the whole story planned before you take the test. So, what happens if your character's a Sue? Does that mean you have to start over completely and toss everything you worked on? I don't think that's fair, and neither should the people who make these tests!

**1. Make Sure Your OC's not a Sue First. **Before you think out the whole plot of the story, try to make your character reasonable and not "Sue-ish." Also, it's true that a lot of Sue Tests can be unfair with some of the questions, but when they tell you not to convince yourself the results were wrong, it's not entirely off. A lot of times, your character does need some work, and you shouldn't be afraid to admit that.

**2. How to Fix a Purity Sue: **A Purity Sue is someone who's so sparkly-white pure, they crap rainbows. She doesn't do much action-type stuff, and mostly stands on the sidelines. She'll always be innocent, sweet, and just so immaculately good that everyone around her starts becoming good and sweet and nice like her (even the bad guys!). Why do we hate her? She's totally useless, and effectively derails any character she touches! **How do you fix her?** Simple: Make her human. Give her a secret 'dark side' that comes out when she's pushed too far. Like, if a bad guy starts bullying her because they think she's helpless, and suddenly, they do something that throws her over the edge (like hurting one of her friends), she'll go all Super-Saiyan on them and freak out everyone who's watching. Or, for another thing, maybe not everyone likes miss Sparkly-Poo-Sunshine, and they find her annoying. Or maybe she's not so pure and innocent...there's too many to list. Just think of a blindingly white linen sheet, that's so bright it's causing blindness. Find some dirt, or blood, or just something to make it dirty or whatever.

**3. How to Fix a Jerk Sue: **A Jerk Sue is someone who's a total...well, jerk, to everyone around them. She kicks people, swears, loses her temper pretty much all the time, and gets her jollies from making peoples lives miserable. And no one minds it! She gets away with everything! If she disses Ed because he's short, he'll just blow it off and walk away. If she insults someone's friend, they don't even react. It's not the fact that she's a total A-hole to anything with a pulse that makes her a Jerk Sue. That's the jerk part. What makes this character a Sue is the fact that nobody hates her for it - ever! Remember that thing I said about bashing other characters? This type of Sue is an expert at this; she's the one who calls Winry a slut and never gets comeuppance. We hate her because she can get away with everything.  
**How do you fix her? **There's two basic ways: One way is by making her feel the consequences of her actions. Let Ed smack her for calling him a pipsqueak, or have the crap beat out of her by someone she was sure she'd win against. Even better; have her beaten to within an inch of her life! This will make her learn from her mistakes (hopefully). The other option is to make her less of a jerk. Edward Elric is a jerk with a heart of gold, right? Your character can be one too, but just remember the "heart of gold" thing.

**4. How to Fix a Villain Sue: **A Villain Sue is a Mary Sue that joined the Dark Side. She still has more power than God, still perfect in every way, the only difference now is that she wears a sluttier outfit made of black rubber (since she's most likely a homunculus). And hey, being a homunculus is great! You're basically a god, a supervillain, and Chuck Norris combined! You get to kick puppies (and kitties, MWAHAHAHA!), go on killing sprees, whine about how you just want to be human, and Envy probably thinks you're hot! We hate this Sue because she's like a Jerk Sue with superpowers, pretty much!  
**How do you fix her? **First off, being a homunculus kind of sucks: look at what happened to Wrath in the first anime. Heck, if you really listen to them (second anime too), they're really pretty miserable because (they think) they can only act or feel whatever sin they were named for. Plus, in both versions, they get treated like lifeless tools with no feelings! Granted, you shouldn't go overboard with the angsting here, but show how being a bad guy has it's downsides too. Second of all, she should at least get some kind of bad ending. If not that, at least make her suffer for her wrong doing. It's a lot like the Jerk Sue, but...more evil, I guess.

**5. How to Fix a Sympathy Sue: **A Sympathy Sue has a really sad life. She's been abused, raped, abandoned, forced to live on the streets, and she's got underdeveloped A-cups! Poor kid! She wants you to feel sorry for her, and she constantly whines about her past, making everyone who hears her want to hug her and tell her it's gonna be okay. Awww! But that's not what makes her a Sue (per se). No one gets tired of hearing how her life simply sucks, and everyone unanimously agrees "We must all hug her!" It's not the fact that she's been through hell that makes us hate her; it's her non-stop whining that makes us want to puke!  
**How do you fix her? **Make her suck it up and move on. Maybe she's been through so much that it just doesn't phase her anymore. Ed and Al, for instance: Lost their mom, tried to bring her back, nearly died trying, got some freaky not-human-thing instead, and now Ed's lost an arm and a leg and Al's just a soul stuck in a suit of armor! And they didn't even get therapy! You don't hear them wangsting about it. Heck, Al can't cry if he wanted to and Ed's tear ducts must have fallen out for all we know!

**6. How to Fix a Copy Cat Sue: **This kind of Sue is probably related to Ed and Al. She's basically Edward with lady parts, and acts like him in every way; alchemy without a circle, freaks out when you call her short, looks (and dresses) just like Ed...bonus points if she's missing her right arm and left leg! If she's not this, she's a perfect mix of Ed and Al's personalities: sure, she's sensitive about her height, but she's got a soft spot for stray kittens too. I know I already mentioned this, but to drive the point home, if she's the second one, then she isn't their sister; she's really their crack-baby! A Copy Cat Sue is what happens when the author wishes that they could be the main character and still live out their fantasies with him. I could be wrong, but I think some writers do this with Mustang too. A lot of Villain Sues are basically Copy Cats of Envy.  
**How do you fix her? **Oh boy, where to begin...it depends on her background. If she's related to the Elrics, then go back and read 'Ed & Al's Sista' in Chapter 1. If she's not, then you seriously need to work on her. If you're doing a gender-flip, never mind. She's fine.

**7. How to Fix a Self-Insert Sue: **I think it's pretty obvious; you, in FMA. Most people assume that if you write fanfiction, you're apparently ugly, fat, and have no talent outside of writing fanfics (and even then, you suck at that). So if your self-insert is attractive, talented, smart, or has any positive traits to speak of, you gave them to her because you wish you had them! But honestly, if the character's not really "you," how can you call it a self-insert? You can tell your Self-Insert is a Sue when everything goes her way, most (if not all) the canon likes her, and she always steps in to save the day. On top of that, everything is based on how she percieves the situation, and anyone who isn't agreeing with her or happens to be in the way of her goals (whether it's marrying Ed or shanking someone to get even with them) is evil. Sound familiar? I'm lookin' at you, _Twilight_!  
**How do you fix her? **Make her more like you, flaws and all. If you aren't the most likeable person around, don't make her Miss Congeniality! If you aren't magically witty, brilliant, or always ready with some clever comeback, you shouldn't give it to her! Think of what your faults are; what is it about you that people can't stand? Give those traits to your character! It's not foolproof, but it definitely makes the readers like your character more.

**8. How to Fix a God Mode Sue: **Mary Sue with more power than God. She's probably an alchemist who can completely ignore the whole Equivalent Exchange deal, or she's a homunculus who can mimic the powers of all the other ones. She might be a living Philosopher's Stone, or a homunculus with five different powers (and one of them could be alchemy). In short, she pwns everyone. Please refer to 'Enough With the Pwnage Powers!' in Chapter 1.  
**How do I fix her? **How many fights has she lost? How many has she won? Was it hard for her to win, or did she dominate without breaking a sweat? Maybe, just maybe, your character's too powerful. Tone it down a little, or at the very least, whack her in the face with Equivalent Exchange. Maybe her powers are awesome, but they quickly drain her of all her energy. She might have some scary-awesome abilities, but they might be seriously painful to use. It should balance out between upsides and downsides, so readers won't roll their eyes.

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**I hope this helped. By the way, I finally got the next chapter in my story done! Please review my story! XD  
I take ideas! If you have any, don't hesitate to let me know. Thx! ^_^**


	11. Marty Stu Yes, they Exist!

**Hooray for the last update! Thanks for all the reviews everyone! By the way, _Forgive Us Our Trespasses_ just got double-updated...just an FYI. And there's a fight scene! In other news: on with the chappy!**

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Okay, so Mary Sue just might be the ultimate evil for cryin' out loud. She's despised by all, and yet, we all make her. How do you do it? And it's almost always a 'she.' Does anyone pay attention to _guys_ who are too perfect? 'Marty Stu,' 'Gary Stu,' 'a boy named Sue,' actually exist too! I took a Mary Sue test that was supposed to be 'general,' but I kept running into questions like "If your character is a girl..." and none of them asked questions specifically for a male character (unless "Would you find this character attractive enough to date?" counts). Granted, a lot of that has to do with most fanfic writers being young girls, but boy characters can be just as guilty of Sueness as girls. It's harder to tell sometimes, but there are a few clues to indicate it. I call it 'Stu's Clues.'

**1. Obviously, he's perfect: **Just like his evil opposite sex clone Mary, Marty is perfect in every sense of the word. His 'perfect' can vary depending on whether he was written by a guy or a girl. If a girl wrote him (sorry if I'm sounding sexist), then he's perfect in a romantic way. He always knows the right thing to say to a girl, he's sensitive, sweet, and always ready to protect her (you know, if she's not saving her own perfectly-shaped ass). If the author is a guy, he's perfect because all the girls spew estrogen whenever he's around, and he can kick ass like it's no one's business. And it's not always an OC; with the right amount of character derailment, canon characters can become Sues too. So from here, I'm gonna have fun dissing some examples of Marty Stu.

**2. The Edward Cullen: **This type of Stu is, well, a lot like Edward Cullen from _Twilight_. He's pretty much obsessed with the girl he loves (who's probably a 'plain-looking' Sue herself), supposedly a "bad boy," and sometimes, he's a complete jerk to her, but she's cool with it because, hey, he's hot! He's very bishounen, and not to mention perfectly handsome as well. He may even fight over the girl with a competing love interest (who's a little bit more like Jacob Black), and he'll probably win. When it's an OC, it causes facefaults and wallbangers. When it's character derailment, (and most of the time, it happens to Envy), you just want to cry! If your Marty Stu is an Edward Cullen, your female love interest is probably a Bella Swan. My best advice: try to avoid sounding like _Twilight_. That is all.

**3. The Chuck Norris: **This Stu is the ultimate badass. Unlike the Cullen Stu, he's not all that concerned with romance, but he most likely crawled out of _Dragonball Z_ (did anyone even think of how that title would sound?), and he might be better known as _'The Man _The Man Your Man Could Smell Like!' There's an easy way to tell if your Stu is the Norris Stu: if he could pwn Chuck Norris, start over. He's most likely a God Mode Stu written by a male author, and as far as how much this type shows up in fanfics, I'm not sure. Just try to avoid making him more powerful than everyone combined and tone down the testosterone. Really.

**4. The Justin Bieber: **This guy is a little bit like the Cullen Stu, only worse; he's even more romance-focused, more bishie (sometimes to the point of resembling the twelve-year-old hermaphrodite), and usually an uke. The Bieber Stu is prone to wangst, being a victim, and making all the girls cry over him (at least, the ones who aren't clawing their eyes out). Usually comes in the form of a seriously OOC'd Edward Elric in yaoi fanfiction, but it can happen to others. That's not to say a Bieber Stu is always gay; he can be straight, but the main point is that he's the polar opposite of the Norris Stu. Just remember: he's a guy, not a Ken doll.

**5. The Loser Stu: **I don't even have anyone to make fun of with this guy. He's probably ugly or dorky-looking, incapable of really anything, and yet the girls are all over him. What? He's pretty much a male Anti-Sue, with no actual talent and low on looks, and yet for some unknown reason, this story is about him. I just want to point out though, that this doesn't apply to characters who are supposed to be "awkward, nerdy types" that are really just hot bishies wearing argyle and glasses. This also has nothing to do with actual dorky boys who genuinely have good qualities to them. This is about characters who are completely hateable in every possible way, and yet the rest of the cast thinks they're important. When writing a character, flaws are important, but remember to give them good traits too.

**6. Marty Stu in general: **Marty may be less common than Mary in many fanfics, but I consider this to be partly because the limit to how much a character can get away with before crossing Sue territory is a little tighter for female characters. Girls with boyish names sometimes count as Sue traits, but boys with girlish names (like Casey) don't get the same treatment. A guy who can show up a bunch of girls might be just sexist at best, but a girl who can show up the guys? Totally Mary Sue! See what I mean?  
Point is, if anyone wants to write a male character, look at some canon examples  
Edward: Honestly, he's pretty hot for a height-challenged double amputee! He's a child prodigy, the youngest state alchemist ever, and yet he's not a Stu. Why? Well, first of all, he's not the nicest kid around, and he's a little too sensitive about his height (he tried to kick a guy - with the AUTOMAIL LEG!). He's not perfect, and doesn't always win in a fight. Plus, he can get way too arrogant for his own good. Also, he's kind of crazy.  
Alphonse: He's a genuinely sweet kid, shy, quiet, and pretty much the polar opposite of his brother. But then again, he's stuck in a suit of armor, which sometimes gets in the way, he's a little too obsessed with cats, and lets not forget the one time he snapped and started doubting whether or not he was real.  
Roy: Okay ladies, stop screaming. Yeah, I know, he's Roy Mustang. His powers, his looks...hell, his name is totally badass! But still, he's useless in the rain, and he's sort of a misogynist ('tiny miniskirts,' anyone?) and not to mention the slacking (it's like he's allergic to paperwork!).  
Envy: Where to begin...depends on which version, but either way, his powers are awesome, he's a pretty capable fighter (more in the 1st anime), and...well, there's a good reason he's the 6th most popular character in the show. Did we mention he's a psychotic bastard who killed off one of the best characters in the show? Or that he kind of looks like a girl? Yeah, there you go.

Hope this helped! ^_^

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**Well, I hope you all liked this chapter on male Sues. We need more write-ups on those, seriously! Anyway, wonder what the next chapter should be about? Hm...**

**Thanks for reading. Now review.**


	12. Make Your Character Relevant

**Sorry it's been a long time, but I wasn't sure what to talk about in the next chapter. Then it hit me: OC's that are too perfect/important/talked up in a story are what end up as Sues, but you still need them to be important, right? Okay, so here we go.**

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**Keeping OC's Relevent**

Okay, so you know there are Mary Sues that come from an OC being a 12-year-old-circle free-alchemist-who's the long-lost sister of Ed and Al or The eighth homunculus-with-Chuck-Norris-powers-who-totally-thinks Envy's HAWT, and blah blah blah...yeah, we all know that. But why have an OC at all if you don't make her stand out somewhat? Shouldn't she be a little important in the story? Well, actually s/he should. After all, what's the point of putting an original character in your story if they don't do anything? You can use an OC to make your fanfic really exciting, without having to make her too good (or not good enough)...you can make them work in your story in a few ways.

**1. Make Them Part of the Plot. **When you have an OC, they should serve a purpose in the story that would make it work better than if you didn't have them. Basically, you should make the character fit the plot so that if they weren't in there, it would effect the story. The story doesn't have to be about your character (mine is, kind of), but it can be about a canon character and the OC can take a role that involves that canon member. Maybe your character is supposed to (or trying to) solve whatever problem the canon character(s) has. Or the problem is your OC's fault. Or it could be something little, like Ed and Al needing directions to get somewhere and your OC helps them out or something. Either way, making them part of the plot will help give them importance in the story.  
**i) Part of the Problem: **Maybe it was your OC that made the next homunculus. Or they crossed the Gate and that caused a lot of trouble for everyone. Or they could even be the problem. In any case, it adds to the story, and whether the readers 'like' your character or not depends on the person and how the work moves (or something like that), but the point is, it makes your character matter.  
**ii) Part of the Solution: **Or, instead of being the one to screw it all up, maybe your character helps fix the problem. It's kind of risky though, becuase a lot of Mary Sues play this role. Then again, your OC doesn't have to be the one to do the fixing; they can just help, and it would still work. Considering how in both versions of FMA, Ed didn't solve the problem on his own either (in the first one, I don't really know if any "solving" happened), but it still worked for him, right?

**2. Make Them Hilight the Main Character.**Sometimes, you'll have one character in a story who's paired up with another character, and their personalities, interests, and ideas are kind of opposites of eachother. In a way, one guy makes the other guy stand out, and vice versa. Your OC can do this in the story with a canon character (or another OC). Sometimes it's not so much "opposites" as, say, "different version of X" in a way. These characters are called "foils" because they're like a foil that jewelers put on stones to make them shine more. [Thank you TV Tropes!] For example, you can have two original characters who meet up with the Elric brothers: one of them can be hot-headed, a major risk-taker, and maybe even something of an anti-hero, while the other is the kind who doesn't say much, is more easygoing, and passive. Together, they would foil for Ed and Al!  
**i) Similar, Yet Completely Different: **The characters you pair up don't have to be totally opposite of one another; they can be different in a way that works like this: Ed and Al can meet two characters, one who's the more outgoing and aggressive type but kind of an impulsive idiot, and the other who's more passive and kind, but something of a "momish" kind who needs to relax. Or, pairing up a defiant, snarky eighth homunculus with Envy! These are just examples, but they work.  
**ii) A Darker Me: **Maybe the character doesn't have to be all that different at all, except for one tiny detail; they just happen to be on the Dark Side. Someone who's just like Ed, only evil. Someone who is kind, caring, and absolutely loves kittens - they just wanted the cookies. On the flip side, someone who's just like one of the homunculi, maybe a little nicer, but this person is one of the good guys. See what I mean?**  
iii) Night and Day: **Finally, you can stick two characters together who are basically opposites; cat-loving Alphonse Elric with a dog-loving OC; crazy, vertically-challenged (and sensitive about it) Edo with a taller and calmer OC. They conflict eachother, so they'll argue with each other. That can be the whole of a chapter plot!

**3. Part of the Ensemble: **A lot of times, you hear people say that OC's should be kept in the background if they want to avoid becoming Mary Sues. Okay, I partly agree with that, but there's just one problem - not all OC's need to be pushed aside. If you want, you can keep your OC as a main character, but you should also consider making them a side character. Hey, ever hear the term "ensemble darkhorse"? It could happen. I have one OC (granted, she's not in an FMA fic, but still) who basically shows up, talks to a canon character, and gets "hazed" by another one...in a flashback! I'm not saying you have to make all your characters fade into the background, but even if you do, they'll still make a difference.

**4. Focus on the Plot: **I figured something out about myself recently; I tend to do better with developing characters than a plot. Fanfiction kind of gives you a plot to work with, so it's not as hard to come up with one. Crossovers are easy too - FMA is a great venue for it because you can just say "the Gate opened up somewhere and characters X, Y, and Z got sucked in." It makes for a great plot, but it's simple. That's the thing though; I need work on my plots. I think a lot of us like to focus more on characters in a story than the actual story sometimes, and maybe that's where we get into trouble. So one way to make a story better is to look at the actual story, and ask yourself "Is this any good? Would I read it for something besides my OC getting to hang with the other characters?"

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**Well, I think I covered a lot here. I hope this next chapter helped - I wrote it up from an epiphany. By the way, am I the only one who's been having a hard time getting into my account? This site's being a real pain in my you-know-what lately! XD Anyway, I appreciate the readers, and this has more reviews than all my other stories combined! Thanks for everyone's support...now what to write about for my next chapter...**


	13. Mostly Random stuff

**Okay, so it's been a while since the last update DX! I couldn't think of a theme/topic/thing to write about, but I have now. So yeah...**

* * *

**Some things to Keep in Mind: Where the Sue-tests have a point.**

After thinking it over for a while, it turns out there are some things the bashers/haters/tests are right about. And some things they're wrong about...is it just me, or does it seem like some people just use the word "Mary Sue" without even knowing what it really means, just because they know it's negative? Then again, I need to admit...I'm a little guilty of some things here too. I actually learned a lot from writing fanfics here, and while I won't point at any character and say "Yup! Totally Mary Sue!" (nobody told me, and my ego is big), I'll at least say there's a few traits in there. So here's a few things to keep in mind:

**1.**** Your OC is not the center of the universe. **Okay, duh, right? But really, it's easy to get caught up in trying to develop your character and become attached...too attached, to them, and every single chapter is about/with them. Turns out, some people were right about making your OC more of a background character. Why is that? Well, for one thing, even if you have a great character who's lovable/fun to watch, the readers are still more interested in the canon cast. That's because they've been around them longer, and so they have favorites and want to see those ones in the story...yes, more than your original character. So if you don't want to make them a side character, you could at least try this: have a chapter where they don't make any appearances. Actually, that hasn't happened yet in FUOT, come to think of it...

**2. ****Stay away from "purple prose".** Just want to be clear; purple prose isn't "using adjectives" (ie: 'sandy-blonde hair,' 'emerald-green eyes,' 'pixie-build,'). It's sometimes called "thesaurus rape," because it's going overboard with descriptions (ie: 'most luxurious silken gold-colored locks,' 'two shining, precious emeralds,' 'the frame like that of the fair folk, told in so many a fantasy,'). Did you notice the difference? Like how your eyes were just peeling away as you read the second list? Yeah, there it is. Please, do not do that. Try to avoid comparing your character's (or anyone's, for that matter) eyes to gemstones. Yeah, true, there are people with "emerald-colored eyes" or "topaz/golden eyes" (Ed?), but if you go straight for "amethyst" (you know, purple?) as your first description, there will be problems. Which leads to the next point...

**3. We don't need to know EVERYTHING about them. **Is it really a bad thing if we didn't know your character has hair down to her sixth vertebra, is exactly 5'6'' and weighs 115 lbs? Okay, fair enough, you probably put that in your profile page, but it's not the end of the world if the readers didn't know about totally-irrelevant details. But say if your OC has an issue because their hair is too long or something, or maybe they're too tall or short for something (hee-hee!), that might be important. Trust me, readers could care less about what clothing they have on...they just want to see something exciting happen.

**4. If you "Suck at Summaries": **Okay, I really have to get to this one. I'm so sick and tired of seeing someone post a story in the archive section, and say "Um, kayz, so im raelly bad wiht summREEz!" Look, even if you are, just do the best you can. Do you really think I'll read your story if you just told me you're bad with summaries? How do I even know what it's about? See what I mean? You have to try, and even if people read it and say "man, it's kind of a crappy way to do the summary," at least they have something, right? Believe it or not, I read over the summaries and say "Gee, this is a kind of piss-poor way to sum up my super-special-awesome story with a way-cool plot twist!" but I don't add in there "Oh, I suck at summaries". Why? Because, if I did, then everyone (trust me, everyone) instantly thinks "Well, if they can't even do a summary, then why should I even waste my time reading this piece of crap?" Sorry it's true. So yeah, I can't stress it enough; the word limit this site puts on it sure sucks, but try doing your best. Even if it's "Character A and Character B go on a crazy adventure! And everything that can go wrong, does. Rated T for violence and one penis joke," See? At least now I kind of have an idea of what I'm reading.

**5. Mary Sue Tests are not God: **Just because the Mary Sue test said you can('t) do it, doesn't make it wrong. For whatever reason, having a tragic past and a personality disorder make you a Sue, but being useless and retarded make your character well-rounded and believable. Yes, that's right. You can be retarded, or an IQ in the negative digits, but you can't be some other weird disorder...you know, like schizo or autism. Because those don't come with "real" flaws, as any schizo or autistic person will tell you! Seriously, why can't your character just have a quirk that can either be neutral or subjective (meaning some think it's bad, others don't)? I can see penalizing "mind-blowingly gorgeous", but why "pretty, but not conventionally attractive"? Can't my character have some talents? And what's wrong with being "cross-cultural" (ie: mulatto or a "mutt" )? Really people? Just remember, you have to go for balanced; s/he can be good at more than one thing, but they need to have some flaw. Clumsiness is a flaw if it causes bad things to happen to them. Autism is a flaw if it makes them come off as weird (*cough*L*cough*). See what I mean?

Well, that's all I could think of. I had to bust this chapter out, because I checked my polls, and this story was highest in "update now" rankings.

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**I think this chapter was kind of random. I wanted to pick out all the 'doubleyu-tee-eff' moments from the Mary Sue Litmus Test, but there's a lot! I got lazy, go figure. And yes, I really do think that L is autistic. Seriously...**


	14. Christiana Sophia Mayasalee Thomas

**Well guys, I had no idea what to put for the next chapter, and since takes down stories that aren't stories, I decided to make a story...you know, with characters and an actual plot?**

**So yeah...anyway, I'll try to give tips through the narrative, like inappropriate breaches in the storytelling to point out a fallacy in the work. Oh, and OC's who are blatant Mary Sues - so blatant, they are actually aware of it. Maybe you'll feel bad for them, maybe not. I dunno.**

**And without further ado, I give you: Mary Mary? Quite Contrary! Part II: An actual story featuring actual plot!**

**Chapter 1: Christiana Sophia Maysalee Thomas and the Mary Sue curse.**

* * *

Christiana Sophia Maysalee Thomas proudly skipped down the halls of Central City's HQ, having just received the State Alchemist title the Shiny Sparkly Alchemist. One wonders why this title wasn't granted to Major Alex Louis Armstrong...

Anyway, she was the second-youngest State Alchemist in all of history, after her best friend Edward Elric. The two of them became friends while she was getting her state certification, and she secretly had a crush on him. I don't blame her actually, but I personally know better than to expect a guy who's too busy trying to get his brother's body back, and already fairly oblivious to romance anyway...but that's another story.

Well yeah, she liked him, but she was at least a little bit sensible enough not to run up to him and say it. Thing is, Christiana So...ugh, CHRISTY, had a deep dark secret.

She feared she was a Mary Sue.

She'd been worried about it for a long time, and dreaded the day that her Sueness would infect the whole of Amestris and derail everything the FMA fans held dear. One day, she hoped to fix her Sueness with alchemy, if she used the right transmutation - because she wasn't a complete Mary Sue, so she didn't know everything about alchemy - she could become a believable, likable, maybe even lovable character. But if only she could just be normal...

But for now, the Shiny Sparkly Alchemist saw Edward Elric coming her way, and ran up to meet him. She pulled out her silver pocket watch to show him. "See? I'm a State Alchemist now! Just like you!"

Edward smiled. "That's awesome. So what kind of name did they give you?"

"The Shiny Sparkly Alchemist," said Christy.

Edward tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help it. He thought it was a bit strange, some of the names the Fuher came out with...lately he'd been just plain crazy with them...

"What's so funny?" asked Christy. "Ed, I am very unhappy that you think it's funny. I'm going to get really pissed off and walk away,"

And she did. And Ed kind of felt bad, because he'd hurt her feelings. Then he decided that she ought to get a sense of humor, since the author is being nice and not derailing him just yet.

"Oh, lighten up Christy!" Ed pouted. Christy turned around, doing an epic pouting maneuver.

"Pffffft, fine," she said. They walked down the halls some more, and found that HQ had a lot of really long halls.

"Wow, sure are a lot of halls," said Christy, trying to fill the silence. "Hey, Ed? Where's you're little brother Alphonse?"

"I dunno, but I'm sure he's okay," said Edward.

"..."

"What?"

"You don't care where he is right now?"

"No, why?"

"Oh no, it's happening again!"

"What is?"

"Edward, I'll have to lock you in the closet and go look for your brother,"

"Huh?"

Suddenly, Christy grabbed little Ed and using her super strength, picked him up and shoved him into the janitor's closet. She ignored Ed's screaming as she ran down the large number of halls - why didn't they just put an elevator in here? - until she found stairs. Then, Christy used her magical powers to slide down the rails without getting butt cramps, and then finally came to the exit. By now, the reader is aware that the author was too lazy to research the layout of the HQ building.

Christy ran. She ran and ran and ran and ran. She was terrified at what had happened.

She was derailing Ed's character.

Christy sat in a dark alley, saddened by what she was doing to her friend. Had she just ruined Ed forever? Would he ever keep tabs on his brother's whearabouts again? How hard was it to keep track of a suit of armor?

Feeling especially angsty at what she'd just done, Christy began to cry. She cried emo-y, angsty tears that were shiny and blue.

"No! Edward, I screwed up!" she moaned. "I hate being a Mary Sue! Why can't the author make me a good character instead of a perfect character?"

Little did Christy know, someone was watching her. She was in a dark alley in a big city after all...

"Hey! Can you keep it down? Your emo-ness is annoying me!" someone said.

"Who was that?" Christy choked.

"It's me...I'm like, Jeff, you're bro," out stepped a creature with the head of a teenage boy and the body of a miniature Schnauzer.

"Holy freaking Canada! What on earth happened to you!" Christy gasped.

"Well, they turned me into a chimera. A dog chimera. Remember when you had a normal life and we had a dog?"

"Y-yeah,"

"They transmuted me with the dog!" Jeff exclaimed. Then he scratched the back of his ear with his hind paw. "You think your life sucks..."

"Well, it kind of does," said Christy, somewhat annoyed that he wasn't understanding her. "I mean, I don't want to be a Mary Sue. I just derailed Edward Elric's character and..."

"Well then, I guess we both have a problem," Jeff sighed. "So now what?"

"I...I don't know," said Christy as Jeff hopped into her lap. She petted him. "I guess we'll just have to find a way to get our lives back to normal,"

"You still have it better than me," Jeff pointed out. "Although I must say, it's rather interesting being able to defacate outdoors and no one cares,"

"Yeah, well...er, that's nice Jeff," Christy said.

"Any good news?"

"I got my State Certification," she said proudly.

"Oh cool! What did they name you?"

"The Shiny Sparkly Alchemist,"

"Man, this just keeps getting better," chuckled Jeff. "I'm a mog. Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!"

"Wow, this sure is weird,"

"I know, right? You're an alchemist, I'm a canine, Ed's character's been derailed...what's next? A crossover?"

"No!" Christy shrieked. "I can't handle a crossover! Please don't say that!"

Just then, someone walked by who looked like they might be from a crossover. They both recognized him immediately.

It was Ling, from the other version of FMA.

"Well," said Jeff, "At least it can't get much worse,"

Following right behind Ling was Alfred F. Jones.

"Jeff, I hate you," said Christy.

* * *

**And so concludes the first chapter of Part II, an actual story with an actual plot. I figured I should make a story part to this, since otherwise would take this thing down. So hopefully, Christiana Sophia Maysalee Thomas will fix her Sueness and be a well-developed character. And find a way to get America back where he belongs...**


	15. Another Sue This Time Evil!

**I'm having way too much fun doing this. I had no idea there were so many Hetalia fans reading this! Just a heads-up: Matt from Death Note is in this chapter. Yes, the one who was there for thirty seconds and dies, with a disproportionate number of fans.**

**Also, there's a prize for whoever spots the spelling mistakes in here. Maybe not all of them, but...yeah.**

* * *

Well, now that Christiana Sophia Maysalee Thomas (who I will from now on call "Christy") aknowledged her Sueness and discovered that her brother had been spliced with a dog (in a rather illogical way that doesn't actually make sense if you study biology...but that's beside the point), she was determined to fix that. Cool, so now we have an actual plot because there's a conflict.

The two of them ran out of the alley on their quest to find Alphonse. Maybe he'd know what to do, and Christy had a theory about how she could only bend a character around her feelings toward them.

"So, since I like Edward way more than I like Alphonse, maybe he wouldn't be effected as badly, if he gets derailed at all," she explained to Jeff.

"That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever," he replied.

"We'll have to find him. You can track his scent; he'll most likely smell of kittens,"

"Awesome!"

"You can't eat them,"

"Damn,"

They set off to find the mysteriously misplaceable suit of armor. Sadly, Jeff's human head was rather awkward on his dog body, so he fell forward a lot and had a hard time keeping up.

"Hey! Slow down! Or at the very least, carry me!"

"No,"

"I hate you,'

"This is for bringing America into this," she said over her shoulder.

"But you like America,"

"I would've rather you brought Matt,"

"Matt's not in Hetalia!"

"We're not even running anymore, are we?"

They both looked down. No longer were they running up the sidewalk, but now they seemed to be floating in an empty open space, covered in stars. Oops.

"Hm," said Jeff, "I think the author forgot we weren't talking in a vacuum...looks like we're stuck in a featureless plane of disembodied dialogue,"

"That, or she wanted to reference yet another anime character,"

"How do we get out?"

"We will just focus on walking, then we run,"

Together, they both chanted 'We're walking, we're walking...' and slowly, the world materialized around them. Here, the author decided to pause for an unnecessary description of Christy: straight, slightly flowy cornsilk blonde hair with a little strip of magenta on the right side. Big, glistening eyes like the ocean; they were blue, or green, teal, aquamarine, or any color that technically shows up in the ocean...even brown. And needless to say, she was white. As the majority of Mary Sues out there are seemingly fair-skinned, it only makes sense that she be pale-fleshed also. And of course, she was slender and pretty, with curves in all the right places. And her oceany -

"Augh! Make it stop!" Christy yelled, unable to bear another moment of being described. "I will rip out my magenta hair strip if you don't stop it now!"

The author, not knowing how to translate a narrative tone in dialogue, punched through the fourth wall and sent Christy and Jeff flying back into reality.

"What just happened?" Jeff asked.

"I...I dunno," Christy said, baffled. "Wait...what were we just doing?"

"Um, looking for Alphonse?" Jeff suggested. "Oh wait, we _were_ doing that, but your Sueness distracted us from it,"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" CHRISTY SNAPPED. "I NEVER WANTED TO BE A MARY SUE!"

"wHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?" JEFF SHOUTED.

"tHE AUTHOR FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK!"

"nAH, SHE JUST THINKS THIS IS FUNNY!" JEFf hollored, quite sarcastically. "Oh wiat, we're back to normal,"

"Come on, we have to find Al!" Christy said before taking off.

Jeff pouted. "Yeah, we're doing such a great job at staying focused...ugh, hey Crhisty wait up!"

They kept on running. This time, they were determined to stay on the path to find Alphonse. Then, they found out that he had been kidnapped.

"What." Jeff said.

"Seriously?" Christy added.

"Yeah, really," said America. "I saw a group of people come after him and take off with him,"

"And you didn't think of trying to help?" Jeff raised an eyebrow.

"$*** why didn't I think of that?" Alfred facepalmed. "Well, now we have to go find him! Come on guys, together we'll come to the rescue of a character I don't know!"

"Hoo boy..." Jeff muttered.

"And of course, I'll be the hero!" America said.

"But...but if I'm a Mary Sue, then how can you be the hero?" Christy asked.

"Shut up Christy! If you let someone else have their moment, it'll make you less of a Sue," said Jeff.

"It's only the second chapter, and I _am_ the main character," Christy argued.

"Well if you want to fix the problem, then you're better off starting soon, right?" Jeff and America pointed out at the same time.

"I want to run in the front," Christy snapped.

"No way, I called the front first! Let me run in the front!" America shot back.

Soon, Christy and America got into a huge fight over who would be the hero. Jeff really missed having hands with which to facepalm.

"Neither one of you is going to be the hero because I'll kill you all!" came a booming voice. Everyone turned to see who it was. There stood on top of a Chevrolet Chevette, a girl with skin so pale you'd swear she'd spent her life indoors. But it looked nice on her. Then there was her hair, really really dark raven (I'm guessing because "black" is politically incorrect), and long and with a bloody red streak of crimsonness to the left side. Her eyes were like two sparkly, flashing amethysts with tiny black slits inside. She wore a suit made of leather - or rubber, it was hard to tell - as raven as her hair, only ravener, made up of a midriff-bearing tank top and a TINY MINISKIRT! (I couldn't help myself there! XD), with fishnet stockings.

"Holy crap, this story's getting weird," remarked an innocent bystander.

"SILENCE YOU PREP!" boomed the girl on the car, who suddenly breathed out a fiery fireball from her mouth and burned the person to dust. Then the girl laughed evilly.

"You...you monster," America gasped at the pile of ashes. "Die bitch!" He pulled out a gun and shot her in the head. She fell off the car.

"Yes! Another victory for me!" said America. But then, suddenly, the girl got back up, and then spat the bullet out.

"Nope, sorry, but I won't die," said the girl. Then she turned to Christy. "Hello, sis,"

Christy stood, terrified. She didn't know what to say.

"Okay...who the hell are you?" Jeff asked.

"I am the homunculus Dark!" exclaimed the girl. "I am the Ultimate Badass!"

"No you're not, I am!" yelled America.

Just then, Matt came over to see what the hell was happening. "Anyone want to tell me why my car's become a platform?"

Dark immediately turned around to face him. "Holy crap you're hot...um...well, hey, wanna come to the dark side?" she offered, giggling flirtily.

"I'm immune to you, that's why I wear these," Matt indicated his goggles.

"What...you won't fall for me !" Dark ran off angsty and pissed. Matt gave her a reason to be emo.

Everyone stared at Matt. He had just pwned a very powerful Villain Sue with the power of goggles - which all along, we knew he had a reason to wear.

"Whoa," said Christy, running up to him. "What you just did...it was awesome! I mean...no, I'm not about to hit on you, because that would be -"

"Pointless?"

"Wrong. I was gonna say wrong," Christy muttered. "Because I'm already with Edward...no, wait, we're friends, but I mean, like, I've got this crush on him...no, I do NOT want to get with you! Not that I'm saying it couldn't...I mean...Oh God, we want you on our team, okay!"

"Okay," Matt shrugged.

"Finally, someone else who's fluent in smartass!" Jeff said.

"What's with that guy?" Matt looked at Jeff.

"Oh, him?" Christy said. "Uh...well, some awful things happened and now he's a human/dog chimera. No one's really sure what his deal is,"

"Guys, we're still looking for Alphonse, right?" Jeff said.

"That's right!" said America. "We're going to find Al wherever he is and rescue him! And needless to say, I _will_ be the hero!"

"And I'll be the team smartass," said Matt.

And so, Matt, America, Jeff, and Christiana Sophia Maysalee Thomas set off to rescue Alphonse Elric.

* * *

**ROFL at America and Christy arguing over who should be the hero! That part nearly killed me!**

**And, I noticed that the first chapter didn't go into describing what Christy looked like, so I put it in here. And yes, there's another Mary Sue...whose one weakness is Matt's goggles, apparently.**

**For once, I almost think I don't have to say 'please review'...**


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